The Version Of Someone You Have In Your Mind Is Not Always Who They Are In Reality
A piece of million-dollar advice.
The way that we see other people is not always how they actually are.
Sometimes, we seek out the goodness in people who “we” need to believe are good.
Sometimes, when a person’s shortcomings and drawback patterns mirror ours too closely, we shut them down so we don’t have to clearly see ourselves.
Sometimes, we confuse someone’s potential for reality.
Sometimes, we fall in love with an idea of what our future may be as opposed to the human being who it would be with. while other time we mull over the wrong person letting go something that was more beautiful and promising.
The way we see other people is subjective, and it depends primarily
our experiences with them
and how where we were when they found us.
The context of our relationship with a person explains so much about our perception of them and how we see ourself in reality.
Remembering this is heartbreaking, but can be freeing.
If you want a person to be out of your life,
you’ll sum them up by their faults and make them out to be nothing more than their mistakes.
Even if they point out your mistakes, You shall see it as baseless acquisitions but,
The only reason it bothers you is there Acquisitions are true instead.
If you want someone to stand by you forever,
you’ll both be hyper-vigilant in seeking out their potential flaws, and at the same time, running an ongoing tally of all the reasons why they are right for you.
You will ignore even if they are a spineless human and try to blame their circumstances for there pathetic behaviour.
Your brain is a Super choice-supportive mechanism. It’s Manipulative.
You live your entire life subconsciously filtering through incoming signals only filtering out what you desire at that moment, calling your attention to what supports your belief, and ignoring anything otherwise.
This is important to remember when you’re really stuck on a person, relation or opportunity.
This is important to remember when,
you’re totally hung up on a relationship when you can’t let go of an old love
when you can’t stand being in social settings with certain groups, certain people or maybe even irrelevant arguments.
when you’re irrationally angry and filled to the brim with hatred for someone in your life, you shall perceive injustices you believe them to be responsible for.
We get stuck at that point because we start to see people one-dimensionally. from our predecided point of perception.
They become the sum of what we need to think they are in order to advance our own motives, our own objectives, and our own lives.
yet to notice a manipulator here? It’s your brain.
Sometimes, this is a beautiful thing.
It’s the reason why we stand by one another even in our darkest hours.
It’s the reason why marriages last the ups and downs of decades.
It’s the reason why some people never give up on the people they care about, even at their most hopeless.
Other times, it is a paralyzing thing.
The way we see other people largely depends on what we want to see in them.
It depends on who we need them to be, and even more importantly, who we are going to become.
“We are not ordinary.
We are not boring.
We are spectacular.
We are not shy.
We are bold.
We are all heroes.
We are not helpless.
It just that, we are what we choose to be on the day. But still, someone will choose to see it differently.”
I know it feels counterintuitive, but please know that everyone thinks they find a soulmate multiple times before they really do.
Everyone villainizes the person who hurt them, even if that person is just wounded, not malicious.
Everyone sees the “best” in the people they love, even if the “best” is shrouded by a lot of other less admirable qualities.
The way you determine if someone is actually your soulmate is by whether or not you keep showing up for each other and choosing each other over time.
The way you let go of someone who hurt you is by understanding that their actions were likely unconscious, and for them, you are not responsible.
The way you truly love someone is to see them in their entirety, the good, the bad, and the in-between. The black and white and most important the grey in between.
But most of all, the way you move on with your life is by remembering that your vision about a person and that vision can adjust as you awaken.
You can start seeing people outside of the bits and pieces you’ve amounted them to be. You can start seeing them as imperfect and whole at the same time.
You can replace regrets with lessons learned. You can gain clarity and in this, freedom.
There is no one version of a person that exists.
There are thousands, in the minds and eyes of everyone who has ever interacted with them.
Yours, too, can shift.
You just have to give yourself the opportunity to see someone different than you ever have before.
You have to allow yourself to know that there is more to a person — and life — than what’s immediately obvious.
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