the art of not giving

When you are just giving, just giving…

He said, ”I don’t know what happened, she suddenly stopped loving me”

Well, it did not happen suddenly.
The game was being played far along, you just realized it suddenly.

Trust me it feels like someone digging claws into your chest and pokes your heart with barbed arrows poisoned with memories.

You’re helpless and scared.

You feel like nothing is within your control, not even your breathing pattern, your sweaty hands or sudden anxiety attacks that you have done your best but it was still not good enough.

You would have done anything for them, loved them harder than anybody or anything for the matter. It was way more than they ever had and ever will, but still, they choose to lose you.

You lost the one person you “thought” you could depend on, the one who knows you more than anybody else (no surprise they knew where to hurt), the one who meant the world and more.

All you wanted was for them to stay, to love you as much as you loved them. But no matter what you did, you still came up short.

Or did you?

Now Listen.

You needed to let go of your, self-destructive attitude towards relationships. You need to cut the dead weight, burn the baggage, don’t dump it, burn it.

Even if they did care, the amount they cared didn’t come close to the amount you did, not even remotely close and it wasn’t going to anytime soon.

Maybe, Just Maybe they did love you with their heart, but they couldn’t love you with their actions.

They took advantage of your love, of your support, of your sacrifices.

They stuck around for the good and abandoned you during the bad, didn’t you notice the pattern?

They were not dependable. Do you really want that in a partner?

After what you find in that, someone is someone you would spend your forever with, eat all your meals with, share a bed with, go home to?

What happens if you can’t pay your bills? Or if an emergency happens? Or if you’re grieving and at your lowest and completely inconsolable? Would they be the one to stay beside you or leave you to deal with it on your own?

You may not realize it yet, but you’re dodging a massive bullet. You just outran and Nuclear fallout.

It is not romantic to yearn for someone who does not love you the way you deserve. It is not romantic to devote yourself to someone who doesn’t treat you with love, or patience.

It is not romantic to hurt the way you do. They are selfish and unkind and you do not need their coldness in your life. The fights you have now will be the fights you have down the road.

And do you really need all this pain and anxiety on repeat?

You grow with every relationship and learn from every mistake. You learn what you need in a partner, and the red flags to immediately avoid. You learn to walk away.

Please walk away.

It hurts, but if you keep going back, it will not end. Staying with them or longing for them will only lead you down a slippery slope. 

What you are doing is willingly drinking poison. Don’t drink poison just because you are thirsty.

And if you’re looking for that petty revenge? Well, you shouldn’t.

Because that’s your focus on the pain, that is attracting more pain.

They are a scab, and you need to stop picking the scab before it turns into a scar. You need to let it heal. To heal a wound you need to stop touching it first.

That petty revenge that you want so bad? You’ve already got it by leaving them.

They will regret losing you because they will never meet another person who will put up with their lacklustre way of conducting themselves in a relationship as much as you have, or are as good to them as you are.

All that effort you had put in to make the relationship work is going to sting when you are gone. They will always miss you, but it will be too late.

Trust me. They all  Shake up to a rude wake-up. The universe always has a plan.

Now, be the bigger person, the high-value individual that you are. Live your best life, and everything will fall into place.

Leave and let live. And the universe will always have your back.

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